Drinking Quotes You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-- Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
-- Plato
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
-- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
-- His reply.
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
-- David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-- Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-- Humphrey Bogart
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
-- David Moulton
People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
-- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
-- Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
-- Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-- Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting.
-- George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer.
-- Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
-- Dean Martin
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