Hu's on First

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What¡¦s happening?


Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.


George: Great. Lay it on me.


Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.


George: That¡¦s what I want to know.


Condi: That¡¦s what I¡¦m telling you.


George: That¡¦s what I¡¦m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?


Condi: Yes.


George: I mean the fellow¡¦s name.


Condi: Hu.


George: The guy in China.


Condi: Hu.


George: The new leader of China.


Condi: Hu.


George: The Chinaman!


Condi: Hu is leading China.


George: Now whaddya¡¦ asking me for?


Condi: I¡¦m telling you Hu is leading China.


George: Well, I¡¦m asking you. Who is leading China?


Condi: That¡¦s the man¡¦s name.


George: That¡¦s who¡¦s name?


Condi: Yes.


George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?


Condi: Yes, sir.


George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.


Condi: That¡¦s correct.


George: Then who is in China?


Condi: Yes, sir.


George: Yassir is in China?


Condi: No, sir.


George: Then who is?


Condi: Yes, sir.


George: Yassir?


Condi: No, sir.


George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.


Condi: Kofi?


George: No, thanks.


Condi: You want Kofi?


George: No.


Condi: You don¡¦t want Kofi.


George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.


Condi: Yes, sir.


George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.


Condi: Kofi?


George: Milk! Will you please make the call?


Condi: And call who?


George: Who is the guy at the U.N.?


Condi: Hu is the guy in China.


George: Will you stay out of China?!


Condi: Yes, sir.


George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.


Condi: Kofi.


George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.


(Condi picks up the phone.)


Condi: Rice, here.


George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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