Signs that you are too drunk would be... -You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
-Job interfering with your drinking.
-Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
-Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
-The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
-Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
-Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
-You can focus better with one eye closed.
-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
-Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
-Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
-Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
-At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
-Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
-You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.
-The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
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