Red Ring Two blokes are sitting in the doctors waiting room, so to pass the time start to chat to each other. They get to why they are here and the first one, Mr Smith, says "Well, it's kind of embarrassing really, but I got this red ring round the shaft of my ... you know ... penis." "Hey that's amazing," says Mr Jones, "I got a green ring round mine. I feel a lot better knowing I aint some kind of freak."
So both feeling somewhat relieved, they talk about football and horse racing until Mr Smith is called in to see the doctor. Ten minutes later, Mr Smith returns, a wide grin on his face. On the way to the door, he quickly says to Mr Jones, "Hey no worries, he rubbed in some liquid with a cloth and it came off. You'll be out in no time. See ya buddy."
Feeling better, Mr Jones goes in to the doctor when called. He explains his problem, drops his trousers, and lets the doctor have a look. "It's serious I'm afraid Mr Jones, It will have to be amputated. I can schedule surgery for three days time."
"WHAT!! NO!! That guy in here two minutes ago got his rubbed off! What do ya mean amputate?!"
"I'm sorry Mr Jones, there is a big difference between lip-stick and gangrene."
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